Sometimes the Fair just aint Fair...

Okay, so I took the munchkins to the fair yesterday, which seemed like a pretty dang good idea at the time if you ask me. I went and broke the kids outta school around noon, and let me tell you, that was a headache! Anyhow, once I got that all done (and they are in different buildings this year, mind you) we got back in the car and Rody the Righteous immediately began asking questions. It went a lil something like this...

Rody:"Do I have a dentist appt.?"
Me:"no."
Rody: "Do I have a doctor appt.?"
Me"No."
Rody:"Do you have a dentist appt.?"
Me:"no."
Rody:"Do YOU have a Doctor appt.?" - the look of fear beginning to increase in his face, the
level of fright increasing in his voice....
Me:"No."
Rody:"Did somebody die????"
Me:"Somewhere I am sure that they did, but to my knowledge, no one that we know.
I thought we would go to the fair.
Rody:"So, we are playing hookie?"
Me:"Sorta."
Rody"Did you tell the teacher we were going to the fair?"
Me:"No."
Rody:"Did you tell the teacher I had a doctor appointment?"
Me:"Not exactly. I just said you had an appt. thats all."
Rody:"So basically, you lied."
Me:"You want to do the right thing and stay at school then you go ahead!!!!! but you are ganna miss the fair, and its ganna be alot of fun!!! Its your choice! and by the way, people do it all the time, so its up to you!!!"

** gasp, outta breath.**

conversation over. Geez, what is wrong with my kids that being busted out of school makes them sweat breaking the rules. What prudes!

We made it into the fair grounds and immediately I had to stop and buy a round of Lemonade, because it was hot as hell out at the fair. And cause lemonade always tastes so much better at the fair. Maybe thats why it cost $4.00 an ounce, cause it is so good. Anyhow, after we all had a lemonade, we went to the midway and gave the lady locked in the plastic smoking box like a zillion dollars, so that the kids could ride two or three rides. Carnies don't play. Just so you know. And, carnies smoke. All of them. Alot. Just so you know. Another thing, some of them scare me just a lil.
We trudged down the midway, with all the carnies smelling fresh meat as we walked by. I looked ahead and ignored them, but then I realized I was alone. Oh no! the kids! They had the kids! Once I rescued the kids, I had to explain to them NEVER, under any circumstances make eye contact with the Carnies. EVER. Stetson said that the one Carney, the one with the most teeth told him he could win a PS3. I told Stetson he was a liar, and probably wanted to hack him up into lil pieces. Point proven.

Anyhow, once we made a round thru the midway without spending a single ticket, we went and strolled thru all the exhibit barns, cause that is what you do when you get old. And we bought a few things and wanted to buy a few things, but they wanted an arm and a leg for them. Those price gougers should talk to the carnies, I bet they have lots of arm and leg parts in their trailers. Just saying.

Anyhow, then it was time to get down to some serious business. I needed a cheese on a stick, and I needed it STAT, cause I was becoming kinda cranky, and cheese on a stick is truly a cure all. Except if you have a tummy ache, then prolly it is not a good idea. Anyhow, I dropped another quick $10 for my coveted cheese on a stick. Yumm. It was delicious. I really wanted another, but a lady mus'nt look like a pig. Besides, oral surgery scars didnt enjoy cheese on a stick as much as i did. Fair fun haters, those scars.

Next, I went and let the boys waste all their tickets on the midway. They thought it was fun. I thought it was hot. And not so much fun, but thats just the sacrifice we parents make for our kids. *grumble*

Then, I surprised the boys with a great thing...I bought us all tickets to the freak show...you know, the one that has the headless lady and the four eyed baby!! It was a great surprise!! And, not to be fooled...there actually was a real two headed cow in there. I saw it. And it was real.. and it almost made me get rid of my cheese on a stick. It wasnt a full size head, but a small nub on the side that actually had a mouth and everything. No eyes. Just nose and mouth. And thats all I can say about it, cause I am queesy just remembering. *shudder**

Then we went and watched the bear show. I think I liked it more than those kids. They were so cute! And the boys wanted one, and I told them no. Then they said "why not? you get everything you want!!" and i told them "we have a cat. make it walk on two legs in a circle on a ball and we will get a bear." they said no more.

After that, we went to see the BMX stunt riders, which the boys thought was awesome. I thought it was pretty cool too, you know, for a couple of bicycling has-beens. Anyhow, the boys were totally amazed, so I bought them a shirt each to get autographed. Sucker. I think it made the has-been's day more than the boys, cause here were two kids that thought they were stars. So they eagerly signed them. And Rody was so excited, he had to carry it for the rest of the night.

After that, we decided to have dinner at the fair. Cause it was getting on about 6:00, and thats what country people do, is eat at the fair. So we settled on frito pies. Cause that is what everyone agreed on. And let me tell you, talking about the two headed you-know-what earlier made me still taste that frito pie. And not in a good way.

Anyhow, we ate our frito pie, and then went to watch the pig show. I dont know which I liked better, the pig show or the bear show, cause both were pretty amazing. But, one thing, the boys didnt say they wanted a pig, so I guess they liked the bear show better.

From there we went to the Republican booth, where I gave this lady $20 and she gave us some yard signs, and car stickers, oh! and peanuts. But no free t-shirts. Cause "free" t-shirts at the Republican booth cost $20 more.

Then it was time to go. We had to leave the fair. Mainly cause we had seen everything and it was also a school night. But also because my frito pie and my cheese on a stick were not playing nice with each other. My tummy had had enough of the fair, and it was letting me know. So we left. And dang that ungrateful tummy, it complained all night long.