Okay, so in case you weren't aware, my birthday is ganna happen soon. And by soon, I mean in like less than a month. So, in case you haven't already began to worry yourself over what fabulous present you will be buying for me, you better get on it. Cause I can tell if your present is a last min. afterthought. And that is just tacky.
And, in case you didn't know, I will be 31. Yes. That's right 31. Blah. Which totally sucks cause now I am no longer ganna be just 30. And we all know that 31 is one year closer to 40. And that just blows. 30 came and went with no glitches, it just kinda came, and was, and then quietly left. And that was the end of that. Except now, 31 isn't being so nice. Its trying to act up. What a bitch 31 is beginning to be, and it hasn't even arrived yet!
So here it is 31, words to live by. And you better take note...or Ill refuse to acknowledge your crabby ass.
Dear 31,
Seriously, must you be so hateful? Your numerical sister, 30, came and went almost a year ago, and was very gracious in doing so. Why must you two be night and day? I know life has probably been very hard on you and all, following in her footsteps, seeing as how she is a monumental birthday, and you are just sequel to the big THREE-O. I know it hasn't ever been fair for you, after all, she gets balloons in her honor, t-shirts, paper cups and plates and all that jazz. I mean, shes even a lil catchy..."Fun and Flirty, just turned 30"...and "Dirty Thirty" Seriously! nothing really rhymes with Thirty-one. 30 is the "big one", (right after the monumental 21), that everyone plans for. No one really goes all out for 31. I can understand what hell it must be like to follow in her shadows all these years, and never really have much recognition for yourself, except maybe a few Hallmark cards. With that being said, even though you have had a rough time, it DOES NOT give you the right to be a revengeful bitch and ruin my day. I refuse to allow you to get me down, make me mad, or hurt my feelings. I propose a truce with you Ms. 31. You agree to no longer be a wretched, dreaded bitch, and I agree to throw you a party that all Annuals aspire to. To the deal I will bring tiaras, tacos, and everything pink. You will provide awesome presents, and hold off on the wrinkles. Its up to you 31, the ball is in your court - the decision is yours!
Love,
Me - Ms. Not quite yet 31
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1 comment:
When oh when is ur bday? And BTW...31 is closely related to 23...what's the point? Hopefully 31 takes you up on the offer...but the fact that you said pink and taco in the same sentence made me giggle more than a school girl nervously laughing at a joke she didn't get.....
BTW...glad you didn't fall off the earth..I was getting ready to wrangle up a search party...[[that's right...i said wrangle]]
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